IR Movie Review: License to Invade

By Miguel A. Novoa, MIA 2015

Celebrate the 21st century!

Proximate to unexpectedly overrun your local cinemas, the only movie guaranteed to make you name (or rename) your child "Vladimir" after the first viewing: License to Invade.

The mission was simple: Save innocent nationals and wandering animals from the imminent dangers of wild western rebels, then proceed to return home as legends; but the plan did not properly prepare for the unexpected, and now a group of utterly friendly masked would-be liberators find themselves on a race against time in a mysterious land most people have only read about after mistyping the word "cream" in an obnoxious internet search engine.

Venture into Crimea, a peninsular paradise of hashtags and protests, as Lieutenant, an average easy-going suburban professional bear-tamer, who is on a desperate mission to find the meaning of the dichotomy between guns and butter. With the aid of his brother-in-arms, Private, they will explore a world filled with danger at every steppes in the way.

With an arsenal of weapons at your disposal, watch as their opponents surrender their armaments and force them into not really having much of a justification to attack them. They must keep their eyes open and movements quick as they make their way across streets filled with crazed fanatics that want to tear into their hearts with hugs and blind them with flash photography.

Awesome modern high-definition graphics and futuristic technology now give you the ultimate experience of a lifetime! Be the first to see the formation of soldiers into glamorous rock-and-roll artists, and experience a nation's struggles to define what makes them unique from other Homo sapiens in the planet. Question reality and fiction as you search for the truth in this twenty-first century thriller that is 100% guaranteed to make you doubt your own rationality and existence.

License to Invade!